there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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