Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
