i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize