fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
