...so i touched it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
