we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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