She's JV to your varsity
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize