he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
