I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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