Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
