so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
