I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
