if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
