Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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