She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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