Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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