I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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