I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
