I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize