he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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