my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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