I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
