new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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