If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
