the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
