failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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