its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
