so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
