No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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