she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
