I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
