If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
