Me. At least after what I've been through.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
