So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
