I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize