He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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