He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
