why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize