You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's rum buckets o'clock
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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