Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
