I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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