Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
