I seem to have left my pride at pride
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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