When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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