I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
