I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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