Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
