My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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