Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
