I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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