hell yes lets make some ravioli
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
