I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
