just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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