you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
