i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize