btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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