I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
