Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
