I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
