Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
